Thursday, December 28, 2006

Adolf Hitler: The uncyclopedic article

Uncyclopedia.com is to Wikipedia.com as TheOnion is to USA Today. Here's some fun facts from their article:
  • Hitler was a vegetarian; we can therefore conclude that all vegetarians are, in fact, Nazis.
  • Strength Through Jive: Although Hitler sketched the familiar outline of the Volkswagen Beetle, he is perhaps less well known as the father of Disco.
  • In the 3 years before his death, Hitler produced the famous porn series Hitler Gone Wild. It included him having sexual interactions with 3 different mexicans at once.
  • Mein Komp is the most common, Hitler-inspired renaming of My Computer.
  • Mein Kampf was recently republished for the U.S. public under the title Chicken Soup for the Soulless.
  • If Adolf Hitler were alive today, he'd surely be a big fan of Kenny Loggins. Time travelers also agree that if he had survived until modern day, he would be a big fan of modern black Music. Also, he will have his own talk show.
  • Hitler the town planner - we all know Hitler and his bezzie mate, Speer, liked their buildings. However, Hitler secretly drew up the blueprints for Skegness - which is why it looks like a swastika atop a bluey sea from aerial photos. Unfortunately Frank Lloyd Wright stole the designs shortly before the end of the second world war, however, he had bigger things on his mind by then.
  • Hitler was also the author of the book "My Struggle to Get Laid" of which he states his difficulties of persuading Stalin to have anal sex with him. The dejection humiliated Hitler and encouraged him to begin operation Barbarossa against Russia.
  • Hitler can piss ((fire)).
  • Hitler enjoys long walks on the beach.
  • During the half time show of World War II, Eva Braun and Hermann Goerring were performing a musical number, when Braun's left breast became exposed due to a garment malfunction.
  • Hitler was sentenced to 2 weeks of community service by the grand jury during the Nuremberg Trials. He served his sentence along with Michelle Pfeiffer in some crappy high school.
  • Hitler ate a lot of watermelons and onions.
  • Hitler enjoyed playing trumpet for the mariachi band Los Chivos.
  • Hitler is a playable character in the Street Fighter series. He called M. Bison there.
  • Hitler was an emo kid.
  • Hitler directed horror movies for children and cats. The most famouse is Teletubbies.
  • "Hitler" once bet Chuck Norris his testicles to say that he could become supreme ruler and a music sensation. Unfortunately, he lost the world domination thing, but as he did make an impressive showing in his musical career, Norris decided only to take one.
  • Hitler was full of bees.
  • Hitler hated Jews, and Blacks, and Gays, and Slavs, and Gypsies, and Your Mother
  • Hitler liked liked to play chess with Mao Zedong

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